but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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