ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
