he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
