it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
