yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
