At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
