My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
