This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
