Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i already hear my dad disowning me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
