i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
