Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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