Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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