I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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