i permit you to call me
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
