I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize