I am in a vortex of obligation.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
