im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
