but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
