ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
