I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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