Dual....:-)
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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