i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
