Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
