You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize