The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you had me at cake vodka
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
