He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
