drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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