There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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