I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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