How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
