I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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