My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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