Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
