sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dignity is for republicans.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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