I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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