Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
