Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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