Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
4 words: hood of his car
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize