the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
