there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize