half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
