can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
