Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize