Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dear god my vagina.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
