Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
