Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
