she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize