3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I look better un-naked...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
