at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
