the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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