They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
