I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
