I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
