I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
