Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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