areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize