NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
