i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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