ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
