o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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