hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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