I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
