im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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