can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
