This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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