what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
